In India, when we look at little children, we intrinsically start judging their character by figuring out how obedient they are. A child who listens and responds positively to everything their Parent asks them to is considered a wonderful gift of nature; and the one who’s a ‘Tough Nut to Crack’ is looked down upon and filled with a filthy feeling: ‘Guilt’.
While we feel we are only doing this for the benefit of the child, the real reason hiding in the shadows is that it makes us feel good.
It makes us feel good because:
- We find our comfort zone when everyone follows our order.
- We feel the power of controlling and it’s quite enthralling.
- Absolute control is one of the strongest innate desires of a Human Being.
- An average Human Being is virtually incapable of having any doubt regarding their version of what they feel is good or bad.
- We are told it will help child in the future, which acts as an ‘Icing on the Cake’ (Cake = Absolute Control, who doesn’t want that?).
When all of the above reasons add up, it makes for a pretty strong case and desire to keep doing what we think we are supposed to anyway; and when natural instincts to want to control are aligned together, we feel like we are showered with this duty from a Supernatural Deity to secure our child’s future or something.
This Cake that we are eating so fondly is not only making us fat, but is also leaving our children starved. A child that needs Love, Compassion, Acceptance and Freedom is being Dispirited, Rejected, judged and is essentially kept only as much free as the Parent’s mind-set allows them to be.
We at ‘F M Kashelani English Medium School’ work with a motto. We believe that a child’s mind and future is not to be moulded by the virtue of Parent (Society?), but is to be crafted by the creativity of their own. A fight to free children from their Parent’s dilemma may start from the child, but need to end at Parents themselves. We keep seminars so Parents understand that a child is not a stone that needs moulding but a feather that needs your support for flying! So that the children may understand that they are not here to fulfil a purpose, they are here to find one!
We at FMK want to empower our children for them to be able to set realistic goals that they can achieve in their life. We want to make our children so smart that they can decipher when they see a genuine article and when they come across a con artist. We want to empower our children to be able to decide for themselves whether to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when faced with such questions. We want to teach our children to accept success with harmony and failure with a smile.
In the end we want to empower our Children to gather up courage to be able to ask for a small piece of the ‘Cake’ that you have so fondly kept all for yourself!
With Best Wishes.
Mr.Kunal M Kashelani
B.E., M.Tech(VJTI, Mumbai)